Rhetorical Ripostes.

Now, being with a torn muscle fibre in my thigh, from splitting, I will take the liberty, to coach you some fencing with the tongue. So, behold The Powerhead's Tract on Fencing with the Tongue.



1. To remove an unpleasent companion:

Thou: "Did I tell, how much I enjoy your company?"

Adversarius: "No..."

Thou: "Makes you think, doesn't it?" or

"Well, food for thought..." or

"Think, why so...".

Thou can get crazy with the actual touche from the riposte.



Here is another smart way of removing an annoyance:

Thou: "Gotta go."

Adversarius:

Thou: "YOU gotta go..."



This one is trickier to get, but is almost guaranteed:

Adversarius: "bla bla bla FRIEND/BUDDY bla bla bla"

Thou: "Where the hell, do you see friends of yours?"



2. Neutralizing a hot shot:



Adversarius does something stupid, probably looking for a fight.

Thou: Step back demonstratively, size him up and laugh/ giggle sincerely...



For added effect, you can touch his biceps, check out his knuckles, and tsk before letting out a small chuckle.





Adversarius proceeds by being. Being stupid that is.

Thou: Squint like Balboa, and just tell him, "Look, just go, kiss your mother, tell her you love her, amd get on with your life, I'm not in the mood for games right now."

Another one:
Thou: Piss yourself laughing sincerely over something, but to be able use this trick, you must be able to eat a lot of beating.

3. Riposte a comment from a moron:

Adversarius: Comments on something like haircut, moustache etc. that you can change in a minute, but he is stupid.
Thou: "Let's do a little race! For the time I shave/get a haircut/change clothes, you will stay here and read fine litrature, when I'm finished we'll see who'll improve more." You can even manage to riposte a comment on a more permanent feature:
"Yeah, I can gain muscle, but you can't lose stupid." for example.

Conclusion: Like any martial art, don't focus on the tecnhiques of insulting, focus on the principles.