Annoying teenagers. Part one.

Puberty does a lot of things to people. Including making them paradoxes, just like me. Now, it's not that I'm a social person, but I am most definately an annoying one, I manage to pester lots of people, and thus I manage to get an idea, of the basic types of high-school/junior high-school kid. These are they're portraits, which are by the way hugely ugly:

The rural aristocrat: This is the kind that's probably an avatar of bigotry and arrogance. Believes getting drunk is some special skill. Often quite proud of having simple skills which everyone will aquire in due time. This is the type, that may not have anything to eat, but WILL have the luxurious cellphone with camera, to take pictures of their miserable situation, and the free hours, to spend talking to their smooth-brained companions.

The wild, free, untamed, unruly and natural type: This is personal favorite of mine. They're like some humanitarian organization giving food and medicine, only instead of food and medicine it's studpid and egocentrism, and instead of a humanitarian organisation, they are just morons. NEWSFLASH! You aren't different, just stupid and unoriginal. By trying to be different so hard, you end up looking all the same. Trying to look deep and different, and peculiar, WON'T make people (me), think better of you. One man's trash might be another's treasure, but your "unruly individo-centralism" is my "stupid".

The hip/fashiony dude/dude-chick/chick-dude: This one is pretty much an amalgamation of the previous two types. Usually goes to a pumping-irony a couple of times, a hairdo that looks roughly like being licked by a cow (but so that it'll all be pointy and prickly, not oily and greasy), and nothing under it. Because they are usually inherently lazy, they just put on a (pink) shirt one or two sizes too small, so they'll look big bulky and scary. Dislikes the rural aristocrat on the basis, of having rural features, disliked by the rural aristocrat for not "keeping it real", by getting drunk inches from death, dancing with an open beer bottle in hand, but not directly exhibiting and boasting lowbrow taste. Even though the hip/fashion dude/dude-chick/chick-dude does posses lowbrow taste, as well as general stupidity, it does not listen to chalga music, and feigns intelligence, thus his similarity with the unruly crowd.

* Due to the fact that some of them are quite androginous, because of the added make-up, I was forced to deeply contemplate their gender.

Strike-a-pose-headbanger: Now this one really gets me. Being a metal fan, it pisses me off quite good. These are quite often rural diplomats, or other idiots, that like the look of leather and steel. And because as we know, the way you dress determines, what kind of music society will allow you to listen, they need to get aquainted with (and taint) metal, so it will be socially acceptable for them to wear steel and leather. They go out, look for a T-shirt of some band, with a cool picture on it, buy it, learn a couple of things about the band, hell, some even go all the way to buy a couple of songs of iTunes. Because they usually don't like metal at all (or just listen to people grunting and screaming at microphones, thus giving metal a bad name), so in a pint time they usually quench their chalga-thirst. But that is unacceptable! Why not come up with a lame excuse, that chalga is only for partying, and you can only party with chalga, or that it is satirical?
The fact that they assume, everyone listening to metal, is infact a moron like them, doesn't really write better about them in my book.

There's just too many of them to list in one go. There will be further awesomness, in the form of a sequel. Be patient, my tiny audience.

Vox populi, vox dei...

Due to popular demand (well I have two regular readers, so I assume, that three people asking me to do so, is rather popular), I've decided, to post my articles in Bulgarian apart from English. I am starting to translate, my inane, quality-deprived verbal cesspool today. Look for the translations in the comments.
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Заради обществен натиск (при двама редовни читатели, три предложения са си едно целокупно общество) реших да дабъл-поствам, на английски и български. От днес превеждам, малоумната си, лишена от качество, словесна помийна яма. Преводите търсете в коментарите.

The self-styled wise-guy...

Anyone, with enough friends, will always have some "friends" among them. I'm pondering about that exact kind, that piss you off. They think you are their social punching bag or something, and are usually surrounded by moronic lackeys. They are, like the less imposing, but over-enthusiastic cronie, that acompanies the laid back, "rough & tough" one. They go
"Yo' momma..." on you, only to smooth it up with a "Just kidding...". They are self-crowned kings, in a realm, created by their, alas, not twisted imagination, but sheer stupidity. Such idiots, are usually under the false impression, that someone gives as much, as a damn about, if they are kidding or not. They haven't pinned me to the polemycal mat, with their sharp-like-a-cucumber comeback. They don't realise they are at my mercy (I can't say for sure about you, you could very well be one of the aformentioned sidekicks), and that I can go really hard on them, when it comes to rhetorical-fencing. Those stupids (that's the new fad, use adjectives instead of nouns) can't figure out, that I for one may find something likeable in them, to consider them, part of any of my circles. Just because I don't do something doesn't mean, I can't.
If you spotted any signs, that you may be such a thing, read the last sentence several times. Let it sink in. Bask in it's infinite wisdom. Vociferate.

School starts.

For good, or worse, it's that time of the year again. You see great guys go and great guys come. Quite symbolic really. But I kinda got pissed at some unfortunate events (not counting the start of the school year) . Such as a couple of the aformentioned good guys leaving. But nevertheless, you can always find something to make the day brighter. Be it chocolate, or making your friend's day miserable, so compared to them it'll be all roses for you. Vociferate.

It's all about reaching your target audience...

Yesterday I was pondering, I came to the conclusion, that since I meant this to be read by nobody, and it is indeed read by him, that I've got my target audience right on!!! Vociferate your concerns.

"Satirists" and the like...

As I was thinking, what to write, for my imaginary audiance to read, I came up with one of my pet irknessances. That is people who make stupid jokes, and when they see, that no one likes them, claim it is satire, as a last attempt to salvage some cool points with their buddies. Am I the only one? They try to make me look dumb, or in other words make me look like a person that would otherwise enjoy such a joke. Look around, you're bound to see some. They sometimes, but not always, lead the comfortable, safe and calm life of "tortured artists", or simply put they are emo. Why do they so desperately want to try to make life miserable for everyone else, I have no idea. I guess so, that all of their inane crap could make sense then. Come and vociferate your concers.

Oh, and by the way, this was "satire"! And so was the last sentence.

Auto-Deprecation.

It's pretty late, and I have no idea, what I'm talking about. I just came up with the conclusion, that auto-deprecation is the perfect IQ test for a converstation partner. Think about it. You speak of ungodly huge flaws you have (be sure to talk about ones, that you obviously don't have), and people start believing you, you can be sure they are not the sharpest tools on the workbench. Whaddya think? Share your thoughts, vociferate your concerns!
I will elaborate on that, further most definately.