Beware peoples! I will now speak-singe chutzpah-filled meshugas. You know, they are usually, those who are pretty sharp tongued, and try to market themselves as witty. Now, they usually have had quite a shielded upbringing, and spent they're elementary school and kindergarden years, by pulling pigtails, picking on someone unabled to respond, pushing fat kids in the mud, and all the other moron activities.
Now, being quite shielded, they never actually had to stand behind what they say and/or suffer the consequences of doing/not doing it. They and their stupid entourages, usually miss the point even if it was a barn door, and they had a bazooka. And, me, being the quality rhetorical marksman I am, will pinpoint the point. And behold - being funny and obscene is not the hardest thing. Especially in a lanuage, where swearing has retained some shock-value. I, for example, deliver my humor of highest quality, with little to no explicit verbal expression. I, by far don't shy away from it, I am simply a head of power, and I damn well need a challenge.
Sing me praises!
Friday, June 6, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Things that suck. Vol. 2
Part two will deal with retarded literary devices used in jokes.
1. Newsflash!!! People lie! To your face, even. An overused plot device, for the lack of a better word, is the "Based on true story"-crap, or "An actual recording from ... "-crap. This is usually used, when jokes have little to no humoristical value, and the punchline is way to unimpressive, for the (sur)realaties in Punchlinelandia.
2. Foreplay/Filler. This is what you get, when you have a popular stupid show, which stretches out a 90 second joke, into a 4+ minute sketch, so that it could end on time, and have some filler, because even though it's popular, no one wants to drop so low, to buy ads anywhere near it's time slot. Then retardated peoples get the impression, that all the foreplay that went into that joke, contributes, to it being funny. No it isn't. It just exhausts people. You think: "Wow, this is going to be big, I mean if his/her filler is so funny, imagine what the punchline will be?". I imagine it, and it is usually anticlimactic, which is an euphemism for stupid.
3. Writing jokes as if telling them. Now, telling a joke is different than writing it. Especially if it is written for academical purposes, which in Everymanspeak means, it's in a joke book for you to read, learn and tell, more often than not, poorly. This is basically a vartiation on the above. Difference is, that books should be even more concise, which means, that you should basically tell the joke, with nothing more, than whats necessary. In other words theses are the things you try and fail to act, when telling the joke.
1. Newsflash!!! People lie! To your face, even. An overused plot device, for the lack of a better word, is the "Based on true story"-crap, or "An actual recording from ... "-crap. This is usually used, when jokes have little to no humoristical value, and the punchline is way to unimpressive, for the (sur)realaties in Punchlinelandia.
2. Foreplay/Filler. This is what you get, when you have a popular stupid show, which stretches out a 90 second joke, into a 4+ minute sketch, so that it could end on time, and have some filler, because even though it's popular, no one wants to drop so low, to buy ads anywhere near it's time slot. Then retardated peoples get the impression, that all the foreplay that went into that joke, contributes, to it being funny. No it isn't. It just exhausts people. You think: "Wow, this is going to be big, I mean if his/her filler is so funny, imagine what the punchline will be?". I imagine it, and it is usually anticlimactic, which is an euphemism for stupid.
3. Writing jokes as if telling them. Now, telling a joke is different than writing it. Especially if it is written for academical purposes, which in Everymanspeak means, it's in a joke book for you to read, learn and tell, more often than not, poorly. This is basically a vartiation on the above. Difference is, that books should be even more concise, which means, that you should basically tell the joke, with nothing more, than whats necessary. In other words theses are the things you try and fail to act, when telling the joke.
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